Women Make Good Sandwiches

So I was visiting my brother this weekend in Blacksburg to get away from the homecoming madness here at JMU. We were sitting in his living room. He was telling me about all the work he had to do next week, and I mentioned how I’m blogging for ShoutOut this semester, and that I needed ideas for blog posts. He suggested a few topics that were all pretty legitimate. He could tell I was semi-stressed about thinking of something solid to write on. There was a pause and he said, “Well why don’t you just write about how women make good sandwiches?” We both laughed; he was clearly kidding. My brother is an intelligent, thoughtful guy; he loves his mom and has mad respect for women, but his comment got me thinking.

Not only are sexist jokes abundant in our society, but they are brushed off and considered the norm. I started thinking that sexist jokes are just another tactic people use to delegitimize the feminist movement. The media, political figures, and individuals all misunderstand what feminism is about, and in so doing they perpetuate myths about the movement, or claim that the battle against sexism has already been fought and won. These mentalities or beliefs work to dismantle the movement by misinterpreting its purpose, or by claiming it’s already achieved its goals. Telling sexist jokes is just another tool that works to discredit feminism. Any kind of sexist joke is  directly harmful to gender equality because it makes it laughable, suggesting it doesn’t matter. Here’s the tricky part. Say you’re one of a group of people and someone tells a sexist joke, or makes a “funny” sexist comment. If you call them out, you’re immediately told to “chill out” or you’re accused of taking things too seriously. Again, any feminist who stands up to these far too common jokes is brushed off as being too serious or not having a sense of humor. Now I think a lot of things are funny, but sexist jokes aren’t and here’s why: there is a serious truth behind them. Take for example the comment my brother made. It implies that women belong in the kitchen making food for men. It’s not funny because many people, in the past and present, think women’s roles should be limited to domestic work. A joke can’t be funny if it’s rooted in seriousness, unfairness, and inequality. This same point works to disprove the argument people make in the defense of sexist jokes. People claim that there’s an equal amount of jokes about men, and shouldn’t that make it even? Well, no. First of all, it’s not OK to joke about men the way people joke about women. But it’s also true that any joke at a man’s expense doesn’t mean the same thing because there is not the same truth behind it. We live in a patriarchal society; men in our world are valued over women. Any joke at a man’s expense does not cause the same harm as the jokes told against women. Now I’m not saying that it’s excusable to bash men simply because of this. Man-hating jokes are seriously uncool, but they just don’t inflict the same harm as women-hating jokes. I guess the important thing to remember is that it’s never OK to tell (or to laugh at) a sexist comment. Don’t ever hesitate to speak your mind when you hear something like this said. I think it is our duty as feminists to call out the people who perpetuate patriarchy, whether it’s intended or not.