As many of you all may have read in my March 20th post on JMU CCM’s “Man” Retreat, it sparked quite a bit of discussion. There was even an article in the Breeze mentioning the post. True to my implications that I would be more than willing to follow up with some of the members in CCM if they would be willing to meet and talk with me–I met up with Colleen Brookfield and Pat Dunford, two members and leaders in CCM to talk about the retreat. Pat was also one of the men who planned the retreat.
I would first like to acknowledge the fact that the purpose of my criticisms of the ad put out by CCM was to provide a lens with which to look at the ad from a feminist perspective, not a lens with which to look at the Catholic Church itself. It was, and still is, an interesting conversation to have on the patriarchal background of the institution and theological discussion around queer and women’s issues, but for the purpose of this follow-up, I will be focusing on the retreat itself and the ad used to advertise it.
I should also mention that neither of the people I talked with actually attended the retreat, so that the content of the retreat is limited to hearsay and what was scheduled. The three people who came forward to have a discussion with me did not attend. The schedule was outlined by Pat to include: Breakfast, speaker Mark Houck, reflection, movie trailer of “Into the Wild” (a weekend retreat put on by The King’s Men), another man retreat but out by The King’s Men, Mark talking on that, then a closing mass. All in all, it was a four hour retreat. I have not gathered any more information on what was actually said other than Mark Houck’s assertion in the Breeze that he had a 16-year pornography addiction and that he had engaged in “sexually questionable behavior”. Mark goes on to say that the primary weapon that has been used to emasculate men has been pornography. Again, I have trouble with the word “emasculate” because it’s sociocultural context is being shed and instead it is given a Catholic context, but the word is still the same. “Emasculate” in the Oxford American dictionary is either defined as “make weaker or less effective” or “deprive a man of his male role or identity”. In the case of Mark–and my impressions from my interviews– it would seem that the church seeks to redefine what popular culture has now accepted as “male role and identity” to something that aligns with faith and teachings of Catholicism. But when a person not within the Church looks at that statement, the idea can be observed that porn is written, produced, output and watched by a extremely heavy ratio of men to women. So the assumption there is that if it is dominated by men, then it is made to provide for men, not deprive them.
Both Colleen and Pat explained that the word “manly” in a Catholic setting has embraced the meaning of what it means to be a Catholic man. Traits include to serve as a protector of all people, a provider of support and faith in marriage–not money, and a leader that leads by example both at church and outside of it. Pat acknowledged that in planning the retreat and putting out the ad, the men did not realize that this could be taken out of context of the Catholic lens and be seen as alienating women or the queer community.
It should also be mentioned that the ad itself, according to Pat, was promotional material sent from The King’s Men and was not designed by CCM itself. Both Pat and Colleen also reiterated that the church loves and welcomes everyone, man, woman, gay, straight, etc. Pat stated that homosexuality was not a choice, and that all gay men are just men, no matter their sexual orientation. He went on to say that some of the misconceptions or negative perceptions of the Catholic Church become associated with it’s campus ministries as well, and that it is unfortunate this happens.
My criticisms of the ad still reign true in my mind. That though it may have been an uninformed mistake to put the ad up, it still had the effect of alienating or putting certain groups of people off from CCM and the retreat itself. This is not to say that this was the intention, but it was the effect. I hope that those parties particularly offended by the ad itself or my criticisms of it will read this blog and understand that the purpose was by mistake. That the responses to the criticisms were one of me attacking Catholicism itself were unfortunate, I will reiterate that “I am so for anyone having any kind of spiritual connection with anything, and am so glad that people find things like hope, faith and solidarity in religious communities across the world.”
An official statement from CCM was given to me:
“The purpose of “Being a Man in an Unmanly World” was to challenge Christian men to become stronger in their faith, and seek to live their life more in the image of Jesus. It was never intended to devalue women or men based on their gender, sexual orientation, or beliefs, etc. and we would like to apologize to anyone who felt they were being attacked for any reason. For CCM, being a man is about living your faith with respect and humility in a college setting which constantly challenges your beliefs, and to become stronger for having faced those challenges.”
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