Mythbustin’ Mondays: Feminism Ain’t For The Menz.

So Guys, here is a post just for you, written by a fellow guy. You should feel just as special as anytime you read, well, 80% of anything written ever. So, feel mediocre. You are entitled to it, after all.

Oh, I’m just being facetious! I kid. But maybe, you have been wondering, why do feminists have it against me? Why do they want to steal the bread right from my manly mouth? I contest thee sir, and bring to you reasoning that feminists are doing no such thing. In fact, they would really like your help. To make the world better. For all of us wee humans.

Once upon a time, there was this prolific feminist writer named bell hooks who wrote a book titled Feminism Is For Everybody.

Myth Busted.

Still not convinced? Still think that men are disenfranchised by feminist discourse? That the term “Patriarchy” is synonymous with “Men” and that the feminist ideal to dismantle it is to cast men down the hard, fast lane to servitude and obscurity? Do you still, no matter what, want to stand at the top of a mountain and scream “WHAT ABOUT THE MENZ?” and not be mocked? Follow me, good friend, and find out what all this business about gender equality is.

 Because, Feminism, at its root, is the belief in equality between our current cultural binaries of sex and gender. That is all.

Now, why is it called Feminism? Because, those wacky feminists realized women were not equal to men in a society that privileges men (which is called a patriarchy). What are privileges, exactly? Doors that are automatically opened to resources. What is being denied privilege? Never finding the doors to those resources. So let us quickly get to that nasty business of male privilege. Since I am a male, I can try my best to take off my rosy glasses of privilege and rattle off but a few:

1: I will never be denied a job because I am male (outside of some really low-paying female oriented jobs such as childcare and teaching grade school, and that denial is rooted in the tendency to conflate pedophilia and male homosexuality, not the progress feminism has made) and if I do have a job in a female oriented field, I am more likely to be promoted (glass escalator) and will be paid more than my female peers.

2: I will very likely (if I was in a heterosexual relationship) have to debate being at my job, at home with the children or multitask. I can usually assume my partner will do that. I also will never be laid off or be fired for being pregnant.

3: I can turn on my TV, read a newspaper and access almost any kind of media knowing there is a very good chance that a member of my sex will be relating the news and other important information to me.

4: I am not culturally mandated to spend a lot of money and time ensuring that my body is not “monstrous” and “undesirable.” In fact, the less amount of time I spend on self-care outside of the shower and the gym, the more masculine I am. It is encouraged for me to not remove all of my body hair and put chemicals on my face. I also can get away with having a boring, dull, repetitive wardrobe and and it can never be “too slutty” or “too dowdy” or “too frumpy.” Earth tones and nondescript tennis shoes are where it’s at! This saves me a lot of money, which is cool, since I make more than my female companions. I also don’t have to achieve this crazy elusive perfect weight that wouldn’t be called fat or anorexic.

5: I don’t have to live in fear of my general safety all the time. While someone might come in and rob me and maybe even kill me, I don’t have to constantly live in fear of being raped. I can opt for the apartment on the first floor without fear. I can walk across campus at night by myself and not constantly have to check over my shoulder or loudly talk on my cell phone to indicate to any attacker that if shit goes down, that other person is calling 911. I don’t have to carry mace, a whistle and have my car key between my index and middle fingers as some kind of crazy eye gauger. I don’t have to know that if I am being attacked outside, I have a better chance of receiving help by screaming “FIRE!” than by screaming what is really happening. I don’t have to live my life according to a rape schedule.

6: I can look at my government and know that my sex is represented  by at least 75% of it.

7: I can be angry without anyone discounting me for being hormonal. Sure, I can’t cry, but that isn’t making anyone think that I’m ineffective at my job.

And that is only a few, so crazy, that privilege thing. Mull it over. It’s there. And if you are a guy, I know you didn’t ask for it. Should you feel guilty and want to slit your wrists? No. Should you recognize it and try to find other ways women are disenfranchised just by the mere fact that they are women? Yes. You should. You should also feel compelled to help change that, because you know, it is not really cool.

And also, check out this dude named Allan G. Johnson, he wrote this book called The Gender Knot. I’m paraphrasing here, but he defines Patriarchy as a society that privileges men, but both men and women participate in it. So, Patriarchy does NOT equal men, it’s the society we live in! So stop thinking feminists are out to destroy you guys. It really isn’t what we are about. Plus, equality, real true equality isn’t about anyone being privileged over anyone else. So, again, this isn’t about women thinking they are better than men. (As I’ve heard from some people as arguments against those crazy women’s libbers) it’s about recognizing that they are JUST AS GOOD AS men. Nuts, I know.

 Because, really, I know this next thing is a FACT. There is some woman out there that you love. Your mother, your sister, your girlfriend, your “roommate”, your cousin, your dogwalker, that barista that always remembers your order. SOMEONE. And don’t you want them to have the same equal footing? To not toil in constant agony over their bodies every day? To be able to do whatever they want and not what they are conscripted by gender to do? To live in a world free of gendered violence? You do, I know you do.

That is why feminism is for you.