Mythbustin’ Mondays: Being a Feminist is so Restrictive!

Wrong! I’ve heard this argument many a time. Most of the time by women who feel that identifying themselves as feminist will somehow restrict them from doing things they previously enjoyed; (“But feminists can’t wear short dresses or cleavage-baring tops and go out and dance and have fun!” or “But feminists can’t wear aprons and bake pies! Why, it’s against everything they stand for!”) Here is the best way to sum this up, and it is a direct quote from my Gender and Justice professor so I won’t take credit for it:

“Feminism is about opportunities not restrictions.”

I just love that. What an all-inclusive, simple way to look at feminism. This came up in our class one day when after having been versed in patriarchy and various feminist theories. A student raised her hand and said: “I’m kind of confused right now because this has been so eye-opening and exciting but at the same time…I have friends in fraternities who have asked me to be their ‘frat mom’ (or something like that-if someone else knows the proper name for this please correct me), meaning that I would cook dinner for them and all I feel is guilty and like I’m playing into patriarchal gender norms.” Whew! That was a long quote and it definitely was not word-for-word, but I think it raises an important point. The point being that feminism shouldn’t restrict what you feel you “can” and “cannot” do. It should in fact do the opposite. If you want to play into a gender role (as many of our recent posts have explained) then by all means, do so! The whole point is that you stop evaluating your actions in terms of gender norms. By saying “Well, that’s not a “feminist gender norm” (independent, outspoken, liberal woman to name a few stereotypes) just amplifies the problem of gender norms in the first place! Feminism should set you free and allow you to believe that being a pie-baking or non pie-baking, leather mini-skirt wearing or sweatpants-wearing female, male, transgender, gay, straight, or bisexual are all equally acceptable and should not be scrutinized. You take a step back and realize, wow, you really are free to be whomever you want and do whatever you want without feeling the scrutiny that would accompany crossing gender norms in patriarchal society, and be damn unapologetic about it because, well, that’s how it should be!