Mythbusting Monday: If A Feminist Is Ticked Off, It’s Always Because Someone Offended Their Feminist Beliefs

I must tell you, if you run into me and piss me off, I am mad because of what you did not because I am a feminist.  Let me explain because this is unclear.  I had close friends over one night recently.  At one point of the night, I was outside with two friends, one male and one female.  I decided to step back inside because of the cold when I heard laughter after I closed the door.  I opened the door, big mistake, and asked what they were laughing at.  Both began quietly laughing again, the girl said, “He said he liked your glasses.”  Immediately, one second, not even one second after, he blurts, “Titties.  I said I liked you our titties.”  Alright, here I go…

My reaction: a smirk and the closing of my back door.  I sat down, all of my girlfriends, including my friend who is the girlfriend of the guy who said it, began asking what happened.  I said nothing really.  They said well something is sort of bothering you.  (Truly, nothing was really bothering me until they egged it on.)  She asks what he said.  I told her, but I said it was fine.  She gets up and goes outside.  2 minutes later they come back in, and he kind of flipped a shit.  And when I say this I mean he did it in the most endearing, concerned manner.  He did not at all mean to offend me, he just didn’t understand what was wrong.  He then gets so confused and frustrated he begins blurting out,  “What, you didn’t like the word?  Is breasts, boobs better?  What did I do?  You know I love you and mean no harm.  What, does this have something to do with Feminism?  I thought I was complimenting you.  I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Shit.

I couldn’t articulate my thoughts and tell them why I was upset because it felt there was a rally against me.  But then this came out, and this was truly what I was turned off by.

“I’m not upset, I love you too.  But everyone is pouncing on me.  I am not upset by the word, though I absolutely hate the word ‘titties.’  I know you meant it as a compliment.  But, don’t say this to me in front of your girlfriend.  Don’t say this to your girlfriend’s friend.  I am uncomfortable because of that.  If you were single, it would be a little different.  Yes, you objectified me, but I know your heart.  But don’t say that shit to me in front of your girlfriend!  Don’t say that shit to me because you have a girlfriend!”

Then, I turned to my friend, who was the guy’s girlfriend, and asked, “Does it bother you that he says that to girls or said that to me?”  She pondered and replied, “Well, yeah, I guess so.”

The guys’ arms go up in the air and yells, “Come on, this is the first time you’ve ever said anything and you’re calling me out in front of everyone!”

She then backed down and said, “No, never mind it doesn’t bother me.  It doesn’t!”  Come on, stand up girl!

So what is the meaning of this blog?  Though this entire issue has feminism written all over it, on every angle.  I was not upset because I was objectified, I didn’t feel he was getting at my feminist beliefs.  Though he thought that was why I was upset.

It was simply, that’s my friend, don’t say that about me in front of her.  I wouldn’t and don’t want my boyfriend to say that about my good girl friends, and in front of me. I was upset for my friend, not because of my feminist beliefs.  So myths, I can be upset about something other than surrounding feminist ideals.  Humans are multi-faceted, and feminism is only one part.  Sisterhood is another.