The fetishization of lesbians

When you think about lesbians, what immediately comes to mind? In much of the popular media, the portrayal of lesbians often conforms to a particular stereotype of what lesbians should look like. These portrayals typically focus on tall, thin, shapely women who make out in almost every scene. This narrow representation fails to represent what it means to be a lesbian; queer people come in all colors, shapes, and sizes. We are not all tall, blond Victoria’s Secret models who spend our free time making out with girls in the middle of the dancefloor at clubs to get free drinks. Girls kissing girls are frequently shown for men to enjoy, rather than for themselves. Sapphic relationships are displayed as inherently erotic, and very little tribute is paid to the emotional extent of their interactions. This reinforces the idea that lesbian relationships are only for the pleasure of men and their gratification. Men seem to forget that lesbians quite literally do not behave according to their preferences; they should not be involved whatsoever in our sexual identity and relationships because we are NOT attracted to them. Lesbians who do not conform to the male gaze, such as dressing how they choose or not wearing makeup, are often called “dykes”. This derogatory label not only reinforces harmful stereotypes but also casts aside women who do not conform to conventional male beauty standards and ties their worth to their appearance.

Conversely, when lesbians do fit the narrow stereotype, their sexuality is often called into question. Too many times I have heard men make comments about how lesbians probably just “haven’t found the right guy yet”, or how “they could turn them straight” if they were given the chance. This reinforces beliefs that women’s sexuality should revolve around men, and a lack of male attraction threatens their sexual agenda. Women who openly express their sexuality in public spaces, via hand-holding, kissing, or other forms of PDA, are often called out or harassed by the same men who enthusiastically consume lesbian porn content. From this fetishization of lesbians, the media and society at large create a narrative about what it means to be a lesbian, largely excluding any individual who does not fit into this small box. This harmful portrayal can have significant psychological impacts and reinforce internalized homophobia as lesbians feel pressured to conform to these standards. It’s time we reject these unreachable standards and recognize the full spectrum of lesbian identities and relationships.

Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/two-person-holding-hands-371285/