Most of you probably know someone who struggles with ADHD, or maybe you have it yourself. I am a 21-year-old woman who has struggled with ADHD since I was a young girl. Did you know that around 8.7 million adults in the U.S. have ADHD? What exactly is ADHD? To me, having ADHD means I have a million thoughts in my head, I lose things or forget things constantly, I fixate on something for too long but also switch from one topic or thing too often. I would never say having this disability makes me less deserving of things, less motivated, or not “normal” than those who don’t struggle with it. It actually makes those who have it have more adversity, in my opinion. So, you might be wondering what is the actual definition of ADHD. ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactive disorder and is defined by The National Institute of Mental Health as “an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning development.”
I have ADHD as well as dyscalculia and dysgraphia. I have learned, like most people who struggle with disabilities, how to overcome these things that are meant to “define” you. Most people think of someone with this disability as constantly bouncing off the walls, someone who lacks an attention span, and, as some teachers said to my parents, out of control. I was placed in this category at a young age and never really got out of it. This “category” of kids who couldn’t be quiet and sit still is also known as the “talker,” a “distraction,” a “nuance.” Those labels have stuck with me for a long time, but now that I am older, I understand this disability in a new light. In particular, women who have ADHD are misunderstood. Defined hyperactivity is something I don’t resonate with. My “hyperactivity” is talking A LOT, interrupting people (something I am trying to break), daydreaming, and being silly. I see more men who have the defining hyperactivity symptoms than I see women. According to The ADHD Centre, “boys and men tend to display more hyperactive and impulsive behavior while girls and women are more likely to have inattentive ADHD.”
How does ADHD define women and girls?
Women are traditionally supposed to be quieter than men, less rambunctious, better listeners, more focused, etc. When a woman has ADHD, these traditional stereotypes are hard to follow. I struggle a lot with paying attention in class, not talking out of turn, and remembering what task I am supposed to be doing. Women who struggle with this disability might find it hard to fit into society and the standards set by women. I remember beating myself up after every parent-teacher conference and getting yelled at by my parents because I struggled to be quiet in the classroom. I struggled to remember what I was supposed to be doing, no matter how many lists my mom put out for me. I remember boys in my class who got a pass for doing the same things as me just because it is more typical for boys to struggle with ADHD than for girls to have it or struggle with it.
On top of everything, women and girls are less likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than men and boys. According to Clinical Partners, “50% to 75% of women with ADHD go undiagnosed.” Women with ADHD are undiagnosed because it gets blamed on other factors like hormones or laziness; maybe they have anxiety or are overworking themselves. Just because some symptoms may differ in gender doesn’t mean it isn’t the same disability.
Some signs and symptoms of ADHD/ADD in Women and Girls.
- Inability to stay on a task for a long duration
- Disorganized
- Easily distracted
- Overwhelmed with emotions (so frustrating)
- Daydreaming (sometimes I like this symptom)
- Running late
- Forgetting/misplacing things (I have “lost” my wallet five times this semester)
- Lazy or (ADHD paralysis is what I call it)
- Hyperfixation (I constantly go through cycles… like trying to be a gym girly)
- Overstimulated in social settings or become shy
- Nervous habit (mine is biting my cuticles… they’re destroyed, haha)
*Everybody has different symptoms, and some might be worse than others – these aren’t the only ones, just some I struggle with, and that is common for women/girls*
If it wasn’t for my dyscalculia and dysgraphia diagnoses, I might have never been officially diagnosed with ADHD or gotten the help most women and girls need. I am one of the lucky ones who got put on medication that helps me manage some of these symptoms. Most women and girls do not and have grown up thinking something is wrong with them or that they aren’t “normal” or good enough simply because they’re struggling with a disability. No one would say boys deserve more help than girls if they have depression or an eating disorder. This stigma around men and boys only having ADHD and struggling with it needs to end.
ShoutOut! James Madison University 
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with ADHD as a woman, shedding light on the often misunderstood challenges faced by women and girls with this condition. Your perspective is crucial in dismantling the stereotypes and biases that persist around ADHD. It’s disheartening that women and girls are often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed due to these stereotypes, and it’s even more concerning that they face additional societal pressures to conform to traditional gender norms. Your insight into the different ways ADHD can manifest in women, from daydreaming to hyper fixation, resonates with many who are on a similar journey.
LikeLike