Bitchin’ Table: All Feminists Hate Everything…Including But Not Limited to Everything Fun.

Me: I hate it that everyone thinks all feminists hate everything.

 

Friend: Aren’t you just validating “everyone’s” claim?

 

Me: Shut up.  Seriously, though, it really bothers me when I get the, “shouldn’t you be really pissed right now,” comments whenever someone tells a sexist joke or when a patriarchal song is played.  Those things obviously bother me.  But, I don’t think it’s productive to say something like that.  It’s obviously a joke that insinuates that anytime I hear anything remotely offensive, I go up in arms and it ruins my day, my whole world crashes down, and I start breathing fire.

 

Friend: Well, it does.

 

Me: Shut up.  I’ll admit, that does happen but most of the time, that is not my go-to reaction.

 

Friend: So, what’s the problem, then?

Me: The problem is this stereotype that all feminists hate everything, especially anything that can be construed as sexist.

 

Friend: Don’t they?

 

Me: I can’t speak for everyone, but I don’t think that’s true for me.  I definitely dislike parts of things that are sexist, like a lyric of a song, or a particular scene of a movie.  But, that doesn’t necessitate that I hate the whole thing or think that everyone involved should quit his or her day jobs.

 

Friend: I’ve heard you say that you dislike something for it being patriarchal.

 

Me: Sure, that’s true.  There are definitely whole songs, movies, people, etc. that I just don’t like.  Sometimes, repeat offenders just get to you like that.  But, I think it’s unfair to assume that I immediately dislike something or someone because of a part.

 

Friend: That makes sense.  But I don’t think people mean to be offensive when they say something like that.  Maybe they just think it’s funny to see your reaction.

 

Me: That’s my problem with this situation.  Why is it funny to see me get angry over something that is important to me? I have every right to go ballistic if I see something like that.  I don’t, but I could if I wanted to.  To say something like, “oh, shouldn’t you be going crazy over this or something?,” seems to suggest that my reaction is unnatural or unwarranted.

 

Friend: I think when people see someone react like that, even once, all the stereotypes about feminists come out.  I think it can be awkward for someone who doesn’t think sexism is as big of a deal to see you or anyone get upset about something.  It may seem so negligible to them that any reaction looks like too much.

 

Me: I see your point.  A lot of people don’t see the harm in a tiny sexist joke, commercial, advertisement, whatever.  I don’t think they realize that the issue is so much larger than just that advertisement.  It’s what that ad justifies, namely sexism.  I guess my initial reaction to that would be that if someone thinks I’m overreacting, then I don’t want to be associated with him or her because they obviously don’t “get it.”

 

Friend: But…?

 

Me: But, I know this would be an impulsive and unproductive comment and it’s probably not true.  It just irritates me to think that people brush something like that off without even a thought.  Did all of our progress towards civil rights for all teach us nothing???

 

Friend: It can be irritating, probably more for you than me.  I think one problem with being a guy is that I won’t ever be able to see the situation like you.

 

Me: Haha, one of the (many) problems with being a guy…..

 

Friend: Shut up.  It’s true, though.  Things like that will never bother me as much as they bother you.  I can be as supportive as I can but it won’t be the same.  I don’t even have a bra to burn!

 

Me: I’m sure we can find you one somewhere….

 

Friend: Hahaha.

 

Me: So what am I supposed to do when this happens again?

 

Friend: Punch them in the face.

 

Me: …that would be productive.

 

Friend: To be honest, I don’t know.  I think you’re in a situation where you have to choose between doing nothing or speaking up for yourself and possibly looking like a nutter.

 

Me: That’s comforting.  I guess I thought there would be a happy-go-lucky, everybody wins resolution.  Not really but I was hoping.  It just gets tiring.  I feel like I’m fighting the same fight all day long without any progress.  I also just think people can be plain rude nowadays without any repercussions.    Maybe I’m just being an old curmudgeon but I feel like I am constantly shaking my head at all the dumb shit I see.

 

Friend: Maybe both?

 

Me: You should be a comedian.  Has anyone ever told you that?

 

Friend: No.

 

Me: That’s because it isn’t true.

 

Friend: L

 

Me: Either way, am I the only one that is noticing this stuff?

 

Friend: I don’t think it’s anything particularly new.  I just think you’re getting a new outlook on life.   When you get older, you realize that all the things you did when you were younger are completely embarrassing and stupid.

 

Me:  You’re such a wise old man.

 

Friend:   Thanks. I try.