Would you be uncomfortable if I asked you about masturbation?

I recently researched the relationship between female college students and their perception on female masturbation.  My question, asked only to JMU females, included the following:  Would you be uncomfortable if I asked you about masturbation?

This topic is of great interest because of the cultural attitudes and uneasiness regarding the discussion of female masturbation.  Females’ overwhelming discomfort in having a conversation about masturbation highlights broader cultural perceptions, particularly among college students.

US females, generally as a whole, are discouraged from sexual self-stimulation as well as discussing it because of the stigmatization surrounding it.  To illustrate, Christine Kaestle and Katherine Allen (2011) examined the differences between how young men and women have been socialized to understand masturbation, and how these socializations have influenced their perceptions and attitudes about masturbation. This research article, “The Role of Masturbation in Healthy Sexual Development of Young Adult,” found:

…That a young adult’s perception of and feelings toward masturbation were the result of a developmental process that included: (1) learning about the act of masturbation and how to do it, (2) learning and internalizing the social contradiction of stigma and taboo surrounding this pleasurable act, and (3) coming to terms with this tension between stigma and pleasure.

Furthermore, results found more women than men continuously struggle with the normalcy of masturbation, where as more men realize the benefits of masturbation influence their healthy sexual development.

Men though not entirely but I would claim more so, are freer to not only conduct the act, but also discuss it.  This brings me to a particular point in which I will use the film American Pie as my prime example.  In the media for instance, male masturbation is acceptable and normal, and is portrayed as almost comical and expected.  Yet, though female masturbation has stigmas placed on it, in the media female masturbation is portrayed as stimulating and erotic.  So I must ask if female masturbation is so hot, then why does society place stigmas on the act?

Predominantly, reasons behind these externalized stigmas on female masturbation stem from either or all of the following: (1) if female masturbation scenes are indeed sexy and erotic, these images are viewed from the male gaze for male pleasure, (2) men may think there is something wrong with them and feel sexually inadequate, since their significant other is masturbating, (3) misogyny, or (4) women’s sexual pleasure is secondary to men’s.  This is not to say that there are not other reasons as well; Kaestle and Allen (2011) assert the conflict surrounding masturbation also includes that to some persons, masturbation is unnatural and has no reproductive end goal.

In consequence of these stigmas and taboos, subsequently this leads to the silencing of discussions on masturbation amongst female populations.  Therefore, ultimately one could say masturbation is a private act; therefore it then should be a private discussion.  However, what are the unintended consequences and ramifications of the silencing of discourse on stigmatization of female masturbation, leaving these stigmas unaddressed?  As a consequence of these externalized stigmas, internalized stigmas are formed within some females. Internalized stigmas leave some females too ashamed, embarrassed, or fearful to masturbate, let alone discuss masturbation.  These now internalized stigmas have the ability to affect a female’s sexuality, self-consciousness, and state of empowerment.  A more accepted and open space to discuss topics, such as masturbation, will be a step towards disintegrating these stigmas and taboos.

Nevertheless, more research must be conducted on if religion, politics, race, and class are influential factors in women’s development of and outlook on female masturbation.  However, I will throw out there that socio-economic and political characteristics are determinants on how a female respondent may respond to my inquiry, based on their knowledge or lack of knowledge on the subject.  Therefore, I must include all groups of all backgrounds in order to accurately and validly articulate that my results are indeed representative of JMU females’ outlook on female masturbation.

Furthermore, I must address the concept of ‘I’ in my question.  If I spoke with a girlfriend, some responded ‘no’ to my question “Would you feel uncomfortable if I asked you about masturbation,” simply because we were friends, therefore would be more comfortable discussing female masturbation with me.  However, on the flip side, some females responded with ‘no’ because I was a stranger.  If I were a friend, their mother, their lover, their professor, any person whom the respondent personally knows, these respondents might be less comfortable discussing female masturbation. Yet, some ‘yes’ responses were given because I was indeed a stranger to the respondent, asking a very personal, private, and quite frankly absurd, strange question.  This is to say, who the interviewer or surveyor is, holds much weight and power over the respondent’s reaction and response.

The irony of my whole research is my own embarrassment when asking the question.  In asking my respondents this question, sometimes I’d go up to them and began laughing of embarrassment before asking them the question.  Terrible, I know.  Other times, I became so nervous before asking a respondent, the respondent in turn thought something was eerily wrong with me.  And, in a way, they are partially right in assuming that.  Overall however, respondents predominantly were open to answering my question, regardless of their answer.  No one denied me in asking them this question, or shooed me away after asking my question.

On top of my discomfort in asking the question, when I later found that I had to present my research in front of an audience, I became even more away of my own discomfort in public discussions on masturbation. Therefore, Monday afternoon there I was, speaking to a group of both males and females about female masturbation. And there I stood with my own discomfort, shooting myself in the foot for thinking about researching this topic. Though I blushed and squirmed all the way through my presentation, it was ultimately a success. Yet, needless to say, my presentation was the climax of that class period.