Own It.

I’ve explained this a few times to different kinds of people, some have ignored it, some have agreed with it, and some have dismissed it all together.  Regardless, at least I spoke it and they heard it.  Though I will say about those who have dismissed it weren’t really listening for they had their own agendas. So let me reiterate: Own yourself, own your actions, own your body, and own the word: slut.  Whether one has had numerous partners, or whether one has had one, as long as one is reaching pleasure and all of what sex can bring, then one is reaching joy.  As the queer community has re-owned the word “queer,” as the black community has re-owned the “n” word, women let us re-own the word, “slut.”

The thought of ownership, women owning their own bodies, women owning their actions have steadily increased in my mind over the semester.  Women must own their own bodies, whether in sex, in sex wars, in sex terrorism, in FGM, in the media, in exercise, in eating, in everything.  We are exempt from many forms of pleasure, including sex.   Yes, one can think of the double standard here.  However, it’s more than that.  We are being denied self-confidence, we are being denied autonomy, we are being denied orgasms.

The hopeless in how society frowns upon women for not only  having sex, but also how women are looked down upon if they masturbate.  By God.  Women are being refused pleasure with and without men.  That’s not a life.  Sex and pleasure are apart of life, and if we continue to be denied as such, I don’t know what to think.

I remember speaking with a close gay guy friend of mine, I was slightly joking, however, was being more serious if anything. I told him, fine society -take our rights, our freedoms, our protection.  But once it crosses into our personal domain, our private sphere of control in sex and in pleasure, they have gone too far.  In shaming a gay man in receiving love, joy, pleasure, all of what is good from another man, is denying his life.  In shaming a woman for sleeping with several partners because she owns her body, she is self-confident; because she wants to get hers, is denying her life.

If a woman is having sex for reasons that do not include: insecurity, pleasing others, loneliness, or guilt, then a woman should be granted ownership of her sex life.  In fact, there is no need to grant, she owns her sex life and her body.  She is a “slut” and she loves it.

If a woman decides to either sleep with many partners or if a woman decides to sleep with one or a few, as long as both women are reaching pleasure, joy, goodness, and womanhood, then both are doing exactly what is necessary for them.  It does not matter what choices a woman makes as long as that woman is reaching all of what is good in life, as long as that women gets there.

And ending on that note, if you believe to be a feminist, own the word. Don’t be fearful of others judgements since societies has raped the word, own it, that way we can move on from this 3rd Wave of Feminism and begin the 4th with us.