Trump This

Who knew that a land founded by immigrants would eventually kick immigrants out? I mean they are on our land, right?

It’s not like our ancestors wiped out an entire population (that already lived and roamed the land) with their bare hands hiding behind the barrel and germs. I mean who knew that the spreading of diseases like smallpox to the Native American community was actually intentional. Hey, you cold? Yeah? Want my small-pox ridden blanket? Yeah? Okay, here you go. A gesture of peace and rest, sometimes permanent. R.I.P.

Also, it’s not like our ancestors tore apart the land disregarding the fact that people actually lived there and replaced them with coal-burning factories, mining fields, trash incinerators and pipelines that ultimately screw marginalized communities while those dominant communities *cough* (middle to upper-class white people) sip margaritas on their patio floor. Thanks, Susan.

#butthatsnoneofmybusiness GIF - TheMuppets KermitTheFrog NoneOfMyBusiness GIFs

#butthatsnoneofmybusiness GIF
from Themuppets GIFs

Oh, folks, Uncle Sam was only getting started. Listen, putting Native Americans into reservation camps was just a test run, NOW forcibly separating undocumented families has become the new trend. I mean haven’t you heard? The United States is the latest battleground of forcible separations and a future addition in history above Australia’s history of Stolen Generations!

Families seeking asylum, and families wanting a better life from their countries that persecute them, that murder them, that have high crime rates, that have no open job opportunities and for THEM to ask for safety in the land of the free and home of the brave?

Kimberly Wilklins Aint Nobody Got Time For Dat GIF - KimberlyWilklins AintNobodyGotTimeForDat Time GIFs

Kimberly Wilklins Aint Nobody Got Time For Dat GIF
from Kimberlywilklins GIFs

I mean, haven’t you heard? Real and documented citizens of America have zero tolerance for the needs of “others”. We separate undocumented families for extended periods of time, we have children practice their first and fourteenth amendment rights…

…..and shh, don’t tell anyone, but we inject these kids with psychiatric drugs. So basically, people seeking citizenship and asylum, you’ve become America’s latest Eugenic Movement test subjects.

Just to warn the folks from Honduras walking miles and miles in a caravan seeking asylum in the United States, the ovaries here want to tell you that you’re screwed. Trump has no time for that. I mean he’s going to miss his training at Wii golf! Tread lightly people, POTUS is warning you, step foot in THE LAND OF OPPORTUNITY and we will make sure that you have none. Foreign aid? Nah, America is already in a huge deficit, why add more to it.

It’s all about Making America Great Again!

Now, the Trump administration’s new family policy for immigrants has just come out and oh boy IT’S BRILLIANT. I mean granted, the new policy won’t copy the “zero tolerance” policy already in place which you know has only split about 2,500 children from their parents. No big deal –

INSTEAD, wait for it- it will provide immigrant families with a “binary choice,” gotta love America and their binaries, I mean it’s not like the flag isn’t red, white and blue. Last time I checked that equals three, but that’s beside the point. This binary choice will provide immigrant families with the option of:

  1. Opting to stay together in detention as a family
  2. Parents could choose to have their children released to government shelters and eventually turned to either relatives, guardians or the foster system

TRUMP, MY DUDE, YOU ARE BRILLIANT.

Next Nobel Prize Winner right here folks. Only the best can win it. I know it. I’ve seen the prize, it’s the greatest prize. And we will win it, every time. It’s the prize made for America. #murica’s prize.

#MakeAmericaGreatAgain

God Bless America.

The ovaries have spoken.

Photo credits:

Unsplash – Roya Ann Miller

4 thoughts on “Trump This

  1. This was a great post! I love the sarcasm and the sources! You make very interesting points even things we’ve brought up in class. Just the perfect post in time to get everyone out to vote!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This was amazing! You did a great job of weaving satire into the news and it definitely got my attention and I’m sure it did the same for others too! Like @riotgrrllll said in her comment… perfect inspiration for people to get involved and vote!

    Like

    1. Thank you! This truly means a lot! And yes, hopefully whoever is reading this does go out and vote! The midterm elections are HUGE and well, every voice and every ballot counts. Immigration is a big deal and the United States was built by illegal immigrants, so by that nature, we should all be kicked out, leaving the Native American community, who rightfully own the land, to do as they wish. Thank you again and I’m glad you liked the post!

      Like

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